Ignorant comments from Ignorant people

You know, everyday I am amazed at how many ignorant comments come out of the mouths of people around me. Not anyone close to me, but people who still know what I have gone though to have this baby. Of course it always seems to be coming from mothers who didn’t struggle with getting pregnant. I understand that it is just ignorance, and that people don’t fully understand the length that Luis and I have gone to for this to even happen for us. They don’t understand the pain, the tears, the ups and downs, the painful shots and years of disappointment. Nobody can fully understand this unless they have been there. It just seems to me that some people should be smart enough to not say stupid ass comments about pregnancy or being a mom. Just because I was one of the lucky few that did get pregnant through very expensive treatments, I will never ever forget the road it took to get here. The pain is still there. It’s very hard to sit and not get defensive when I am surrounded by beautiful women and friends who would make excellent mothers and yet they are still waiting. Some are just starting out with infertility treatments some have been through more than they count and some who have gone through as much as they could possibly afford. These women are strong, courageous and inspiring. Their dreams have gone up in smoke time and time again with each negative pregnancy test. For some the dream is over because they can not afford to spend any more money on these treatments, others keep on pushing. There is a stereotype that In-Vitro fertilization is the be all end all for women who can’t get pregnant. THIS IS NOT TRUE! Each woman is examined and given a percentage of her chance that this will end in success. For every woman that gets that amazing miracle there are MANY that don’t. Even when you put back 4 or 5 embryos sometimes 0 stick and you have to start at ground zero again. I just wish that women who didn’t struggle with becoming pregnant or those who have not even thought about becoming pregnant would stop and think about the issues that these women go through before they open their mouth. Stop and think about these questions! Could you dish out $20,000.00 a cycle that’s right! for ONE CYCLE that means ONE chance at becoming pregnant. Could you handle all of the medications, vaginal ultrasounds, blood tests, hundreds of doctor appointments at 6:30 am and injections with several needle sizes? We are talking 4 or more injections daily and the best part is if you do get pregnant could you handle continuing those injections for the remainder of your first trimester. 60 days of these shots! Could your marriage handle the stress of the financial burden, the emotional roller coaster of hormones and the disappointment time and time again when it doesn’t work? Would you hide out from baby showers because it was simply just too painful to attend? Could you fake a smile and jump for joy when someone around you becomes pregnant without even trying? Could you yourself handle all of the stupid comments such as just relax it will happen, if its meant to be its meant to be, or my all time favorite YOU CAN ALWAYS ADOPT! Let me just explain one thing about adoption for those people out there who think it’s that easy. For one, it costs the same if not more than a cycle of IVF. There are legal issues and paperwork and many many home visits and investigations done on you and every inch of your marriage and oh yes there is that one thing, the mother has a year to change her mind and take the child back. Could you deal with that? If you do have children could you stop saying “are you sure you really want to have kids?” because could you imagine your life without your children? I am willing to bet a million dollars that you wouldn’t take it back for a second. If you know someone who is struggling with having a baby please stop and think about what they are really going through before you make stupid comments. And please do not say stupid things to them once they become pregnant because you have never walked in their shoes and you have no idea of the pain that they have been through. Having a baby is blessing from God. No it doesn’t always happen naturally and it has nothing to do with trying. Not everyone’s body works the way it’s supposed to. Please do not take your children for granted! Also do not take for granted the fact that you can become pregnant on your own for FREE without everything listed above. What is a year? Please, some women that I know have been trying for over 10 years and that’s with help. Ask yourself how far would you go to get your dream of being a mother? Would you be strong enough to handle everything above?